Monday night I received a phone call that nearly stopped my heart. Brian was biking home from work (he commutes the 12-13 miles a few times a week) and was in a collision with a minivan. The emergency department called me and the man on the other end of the phone identified himself as being with the ED and said they had someone there that needed to talk to me. Thankfully, only a few seconds passed before he handed the phone to Brian who was able to tell me that he had been in an accident. He was very shaken up and had just gotten there, so he was only able to answer one of the many questions I fired at him, but it was an important one, "Can you feel and move all of your limbs?" I was encouraged that there didn't seem to be any glaringly obvious signs of a spinal cord injury, but he had to hang up after just a minute or so as the ER doctors needed to work on him. Cue anxiety and clock watching. The mental image I created was gruesome and horrible. What I assumed happened made me sick to my stomach. I began texting anyone I could think of that would still be awake to try to calm my nerves and help pass the time while I waited (it was after midnight my time). My MBFF (Mom BFF) in Monterey was awake and helped keep me calm as best she could while also sharing in my concern for him.
About an hour went by before I got a phone call from Brian's 1SG. He was at the hospital with him and assured me that he was going to be okay. He said that they had been chatting and Brian was cracking jokes so at least his mind was working the way it usually does. It was reassuring, but that's his personality, I wasn't convinced everything was fine. I asked for a photo of him so I could asses the damage myself, but he never sent it to me. I guess he thought I would flip out, not knowing that I was an EMT at one point. Looking at the photo now I think it would have calmed my nerves because he looked way better than I thought, considering what just happened. He didn't have a whole lot of information for me other than that Brian was in x-ray, he had a shoulder or collarbone injury, and that it didn't seem like he had a head injury. That was good news, but I was still anxious.
Another hour went by and Brian was able to call me. He sounded much better which I attribute to the morphine. He was able to tell me what happened and that he was not bombing down the hill at 35 mph like I had assumed. He said he was trying to avoid a major intersection and went through a parking lot. He didn't see the van until the last second and was trying to avoid it when the collision happened. He assured me that both of their speeds were pretty low although the mark he left on the car leads me to believe otherwise.
I talked to him one more time before he was discharged and then again when he got home. He came away with some slices in his arm and shoulder, a dislocated shoulder, and some bad back pain. Overall, he's pretty stiff and sore, but he is so incredibly lucky. He was wearing a helmet that cracked all the way through. It protected him exactly like it is supposed to. He has not complained of any headaches and shown no signs of concussion or head injury. He never lost consciousness. The helmet brand is SixSixOne and it, without a doubt, saved him from having a life altering or life ending injury. I will forever be grateful for helmets and this company.
Brian has been doing okay and trying his best to manage the pain. Sleep has been difficult so hopefully the back pain will ease up soon. The shoulder injury is to his dominant side and he's dealing with the struggle of not having use of that side for the time being. All things considered, he's in really great shape.
Here's where the struggle and blessing of Army life sets in. Since he's an entire ocean away I couldn't just up and go to him. I also don't know what I'd do with the boys because they would want to climb all over him and that can't happen. Everything inside of me is screaming to book a flight, to just get there, but the high cost combined with the struggle of childcare is holding me back. I feel so guilty that I'm not there to help him and take care of him. This is the first time I've actually looked at how much longer we have until we reunite and its somewhat depressing. All I want to do is wrap my arms around him, touch his face, and make sure he's really okay. On the positive side, I had a friend reach out and offer to help in any way she could. Last night, she and her husband took Brian a couple of large meals and some banana bread so that he wouldn't have to worry about feeding himself and would have some delicious, home cooked meals. This has meant the world to me (and to him too). She eased some of my guilt for not being able to feed him and she was my eyes by reporting back that he seems to be doing really well, all things considered. And confirmed that he's actually alive (because his daily phone calls apparently aren't confirming that for me...). She's a friend that I only know through a West Point Wives group on Facebook and she immediately reached out offering to help. This Army community really is like a family. Its amazing and humbling to see how this family will bend over backwards for its members. Ashley and Bryan, we are eternally grateful for your kindness and support, thank you a million times over!
Completely shifting gears...WEAR HELMETS! Make you kids wear helmets when they are on wheels. All it takes is a split second. This story would have a much different ending if Brian hadn't been wearing a helmet. Michael has crashed and broken 2 helmets in the past. Apparently, he inherited that skill from his father. Don't forget that they should always be replaced after impact! Ride safe and share the road! If you want to check out SixSixOne protective gear you can visit their website here!
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| Like father like son |
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