Fair Winds and Following Seas

It is with a heavy heart that I write this post.  Brian and I learned yesterday that one of our dear friends passed away on Thursday.  There was so much fun still to be had and some much debauchery to create, it is a tragic loss and I am absolutely heartbroken.  There is so much I wish that I could have said to him and what I would give to be able to hug my super sized friend again.  This post is a tribute to my friend, Evan Miller, and a chance to recap some of the amazing times that we had together.

Evan and I met the Tuesday evening before Thanksgiving in 2006.  He was one of the wonderful friends that I met at the National Debutante Cotillion and Thanksgiving Ball and he immediately became a very close friend.  I noticed his infectious smile and insane sense of humor right off the bat and he was impressed that I could open beer bottles with my forearm.  We also became fast friends due to the fact that I was drinking Blue Moon and he hated water beer, so I shared with him.  The following year he brought me a 6 pack of Blue Moon.  I can't even begin to tell you the amount of time we spent laughing hysterically and poking fun at each other.  He almost felt like a brother that I never had.  We parted ways at the conclusion of the cotillion, but kept in touch.  We would text and talk on AIM throughout the year planning the epicness of our second round at the ball.

Mad Hatters Ball, 2006.  Saturday after Thanksgiving

When November rolled around we really dove into planning the ruckus that was to be had and I couldn't wait to see my friend again.  He showed up with his MMA posse late Tuesday night with a six pack of Blue Moon in hand.  We immediately cracked them open and got going on the good times.  Since this was our second year there we had established a group of friends and we all partied in Lauren's suite.  Brian played bartender and as he mixed some drinks that would put hair on an infant's chest.  It was that night that Evan said "if you ever break up with this guy you are stupid!"  He was a strong supporter of our relationship from the very beginning

National Debutante Cotillion 2007.  Friday after Thanksgiving

Throughout the rest of the school year we continued to talk via text and AIM.  On Sundays we would both watch Forrest Gump at the same time (it was on EVERY Sunday) and chat on AIM.  It was dorky, but it was fun and a nice way to stay in touch with a friend who was far away.

That summer, after Brian and I had graduated, Brian headed to Oklahoma for training.  His course was about 6 months long and Evan was stoked to find out that he would be home for Christmas Break while Brian was stuck in Rotten Lawton.  Once it got a little closer to Christmas I decided to head out to OK and help Brian drive his car back to NC before heading off to Korea.  Since Evan was home we decided to head up to OKC to visit him.  We met his wonderful family and his adorable nephew.  His parents welcomed us into their home with open arms and allowed us to stay the night.  His mom even made us breakfast the next morning.  We hit bricktown hard that night and had a blast, as to be expected.  He took us to a bar that had saddles for bar stools and a saddle disco ball hanging from the ceiling.  He wanted to make sure that we experienced Oklahoma to the fullest.

We attended the ball again just before that, but Evan didn't go because he had some family stuff going on and needed to support those he loved (as well as receive support from them).  He had such a loving and supportive family, the kind that many people dream of having.  They are just all around good, down to earth people.  We missed him, but by this point we knew we would see him around Christmas.

We kept in touch on Facebook and through text messaging (and occasional phone calls).  We would banter back and forth about anything and everything.  His playful banter was one of the most entertaining things about Evan.  He was so quick witted that you really had to be on your toes or he would anhiliate you.  It was always hysterical.

It wasn't until Jannuary, 2010 that we saw each other again.  Evan came down from Maine to our wedding and participated as one of the Saber Bearers.  He was able to get away early enough to be part of Brian's bachelor party and, of course, made fast friends with the groomsmen and other saber bearers.  I know they must have had a blast because its impossible to not have fun when Evan was around.  I remember how excited he was when he told me that the finished up the night with a trip to Waffle House.  We had a wonderful time at the wedding...the pictures speak for themselves.

Saber Bearers at our wedding

Saber Arch

Evan and Kirk catching up (buddies from MMA)

Brian, Lauren, and Evan (our Oklahoma Deb Ball Posse)

Brian, Vickie, Evan, and Brian (Part of the Deb Ball Posse)

This picture is so accurate of all of our relationships

As is this one

Our Deb Ball posse
Me, Nolan, Brian, Evan, Brian, Lauren, Victoria

The summer after flight school Evan attended Flight school in Pensacola, he commissioned into the Navy as a Naval Aviator.  I remember making fun of him because the Navy told him that he was possibly too tall to be a pilot.  They kept going back and forth and made him get physical after physical to confirm his height.  He was finally allowed to start flight school because he was short enough by a half inch.  After he started training he told us that if he had to eject that his legs weren't coming with him.  Towards the end of his flight school in Florida he informed us that he would be heading to Oklahoma for more flight school that was with the Air Force.  We were excited!  At this point we knew that we would be heading to OK and had a rough time frame.  It was all we could talk about for months.  We knew when Lauren and Brian would be here, we knew when Darin would be here, and we knew that several of our friends from Ft Lewis would be here too!  We actually looked forward to and were excited about coming to OK!!  We planned to attend and OU game and tailgate like wild hooligans.  We planned to have many weekend outings in OKC.  We also planned to have a party for the Army Navy game.

We wouldn't see Evan again until Halloween 2011.  We moved to OK for more of Brian's training at the end of August, but I was so huge carrying Mikey that I wasn't really up for any trips to OKC or late nights so we had to wait a couple of months.  He was also VERY busy with flight school.  Originally we had planned for him to come down the weekend after Mikey was born, but he was slammed with tests and needed to study so he couldn't make it.  He did come down Halloween weekend though and Lauren made a delicious dinner.  We also rolled the kegerator over so that we could break it in.  He ended up staying the whole weekend so we went out for breakfast Sunday morning.  We had our usual banter where we made fun of Evan for being nearly 7 feet tall and we also made fun of Brian (not my husband) for being Asian.  That's how all of our relationships were.  When we left the restaurant I told him to not leave Lawton before saying goodbye.  A few hours later he walked over from the Jones's house to say goodbye.  This would be the last time that I would see and hug my friend.  I'm not usually a hugger, but I'm so glad that I hugged him, I would be even more devastated had I not done that.  I just wish that I had taken pictures.  Evan was just the kind of guy that you wanted to hug though.

We tried to make plans for him to come down for Brian's 30th birthday, but the rigors of flight school kept him up north.  He assured me that he would be down for the Army Navy game...that had been planned for a while.  He called me the last week of November/First week of December and asked if the game was Dec 3.  I thought it was so I told him yes (I was mistaken) and he said "good, because I have a cross country flight the weekend of the 10th".  Sadly, this is the last time I talked to my friend.  I wish I had said more.  I wish I had told him how much his friendship meant to me or how thankful I was to be in the same area as him.  It is so hard to see friends sometimes when you are part of a military family.  Each time is so special and if you are stationed in the same state its a small miracle.  I wish that I could hug him one more time, dance with him one more time, share another beer with him.  I wish that we could call each other racial slurs one more time (as inappropriate as it was, it was what we did).  I wish I could see him flip my husband the bird one more time for him making some crack at the Navy or at his height.  I wish I could see the stupid ass tattoo of Oklahoma on his shoulder and poke fun at him about that.  There are so many things that I wish I could have back, but mostly I just wish Evan was still here.

Evan impacted just about everyone he met and I don't know anyone that didn't like him.  He was one of the most fun people I have ever met in my life and I expected him to be a true and loyal friend until we were both old and gone.  He was taken from this world much too young and my heart aches terribly for his family, his friends, the Navy, and this country.  He loved this country so much and was so eager to serve it.

Evan, this world will be dimmer without you.  I will not laugh as hard.  I will look for the twinkle that you had in your eyes in the stars and hope that you can hear me when I saw we miss you and we love you.  You better have a frosty mug waiting when we meet again.  Fair winds and following seas.

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.