Life 'n Legos: Best.Night.Ever.

...OR NOT

Haha...so Mikey had his post-op appointment down in Dallas on Monday morning. Since its a 3 hour drive and Brian had to work, Sarah and Emaline came down with us. We were planning on visiting the Perot Museum of Nature and Science (we went a few months ago and Mikey LOVED it) after his morning appointment before beating the "blizzard" back to OK. Since we were a referred down to this doctor the Army covers the cost of travel, so we were going to turn this into a fun little getaway with the kiddos.

We packed up and left after naptime on Sunday. On the drive down I kept mentioning how I had eaten too much for lunch and how I was still so full. I mentioned this for the 15th time and then looked at the GPS that said we were 30 minutes away from our hotel and decided that I probably wasn't still full (4.5 hours after eating). I then assumed that I was carsick (which I never get) because I had been sitting in the sun the entire ride down. When we got to the hotel I laid down on the bed for a few minutes which felt nice, but we needed to feed the toddlers, so we walked across the parking lot to an Italian restaurant. I started getting really clammy right about the time we got to there and knew things were going to go downhill. As we were getting a table equipped with high chairs I told Sarah that I had to run outside (we were really close to the door) and left Mikey with her. I then proceeded to regurgitate my entire lunch into the trash can outside. I know I increased business greatly for the restaurant by puking my guts up at dinner time right in front of their entrance. After I cleared the contents of my stomach I felt a lot better and was able to go inside and sit through dinner/feed Mikey. Of course he decided to poop immediately upon my return...that was fun.

After the babies finished we went back over to the hotel to get settled in the room and relax. Mikey and Emaline ran around in their diapers, climbed luggage carts, and kept retreating into the bathroom despite our attempts to keep them out. They were so funny...then came bed time. When 9:30 rolled around I tried to get Mikey to go to sleep...he screamed like a banshee. When he would start to settle down Emaline would say something super cute and he would freak out again, repeating the cycle. This lasted for close to 2 hours. Right as Mikey was close to being asleep I found the timing perfect to empty my stomach again, so I ran past the pack n play to the bathroom to be sick. Of course it woke him up and the screaming began again. Finally we threw in the towel and Sarah took Emaline out of the room to run around, I retreated to the bathroom to hide (Mikey won't go to bed if he can see people) and he was out in like 15 minutes. When he was good and asleep Sarah returned with Emaline who had a case of the chatties. She chattered until about 12:30 before falling asleep. Once she was out we crashed too. Only to be awoken at 2:30 by Mikey screaming.

I tried to put him in bed with me, but he was too spazzy and kept crying. In attempt to muffle his noise I took him into the bathroom to rock him where I got lightheaded and was convinced I was going to be sick again. We ended up laying on the bathroom floor together until he decided it was playtime and I was his jungle gym. I couldn't take it so I went to my main man that solves all of my toddler problems...Curious George. God, what would I do without George? I am convinced that God put Curious George on this earth for the sole purpose of making my life easier. I turned on George on the iPad and figured Mikey would just fall asleep after a little while. That's funny, Marianna, good one. He did NOT want to fall asleep. He laughed, danced, got mad if I tried to turn it off, it was horrible, but I just felt too terrible to do anything with him...so George stayed on. George stayed on until Mikey fell asleep...at 6:15 am. My alarm was going to go off at 7:15 am. I started to doze off shortly after Mikey did only to be awoken by the Mexican radio station blaring over the hotel room alarm clock. Then my alarm went off 45 minutes later. I silenced it quickly so that I could get ready and let everyone sleep.

I figured I would throw Mikey in the car in his PJ's and dress him once we got to the Dr. so that I wouldn't disturb Sarah and Emaline. Well...Mr Michael had other plans. As soon as I walked out of the bathroom to get my clothes his eyes shot wide open and he screamed...waking everyone. We are such fun people to travel with. I finally got us out the door and off to the doc we went.

Things didn't get much better once we got there. We waited an hour past hour appointment time in the waiting room. Mikey got facepalmed and thrown to the floor by an obese 10 year old. Had I had enough energy to physically harm him, I probably would have. Instead I gave him a look that needed no words and didn't take my eyes off him. I went over, picked up Mikey and told him that he needed to stay on my lap. The child's mother did yell at him, but only after she saw that I let her son live.

Once we were called back I had to deal with someone who shouldn't have graduated middle school, let alone be allowed to work in a medical environment. Instead of putting me in the peds room (which is sort of baby proofed) he put me in the cast room...with lots of expensive and complicated equipment, supplies that are unsecured, and a step latter. Great...I didn't have the energy to speak, let alone chase Mikey around while he pulled out scissors, the cast saw, and turned on every piece of equipment in the room. The next part was really fun. Homeboy tries to take Mikey's BP...with a wrist cuff...meant for adults. I knew that this was not going to work. I didn't say anything, I was in the mood to watch him suffer. And I was also making fun of him in my head. I did warn him that Mikey would flip out. Anyways, he tries to take the BP, it fails (no shit sherlock). He lets Mikey calm down and tries a second time...it fails. MELTDOWN on the floor. He tries a third time...it fails. Ultra supersonic meltdown. I keep telling him what a moron he is in my head while watching him suffer. He leaves to find another nurse to help. When they return she goes "oh...you can't take his BP with that. We don't even have a BP cuff small enough for him". In my head I erupt in delirious laughter. Then she asks him why we are in the cast room and not the peds room. I clock him upside the head in my mind. After he gives some moronic answer he asks if he should move us. Before she is about to tell him "no" I chime in with a "YES PLEASE". They move us and I can let Mikey be free. The only thing to worry about in the peds room is the biohazard trashcan which I didn't care about. I was already a walking biohazard.

Mikey decided the best place in the room to play would be right by the door. Since 99.9% of doctors knock before the walk in I figured I would just tell her to hold on and grab him when she knocked. She didn't knock. She nailed him in the head with the door. Que meltdown. When I told her about our lovely night (she asked) her response was "welcome to parenthood". GEE THANKS! I'm sorry, I must have missed what I was doing the past 16 months? Was that not parenthood? Doctor just got moved to shitlist. She then proceeded to tell me that I did a shitty job keeping his hand dry because it looked like it was wet. Hey lady, look at his face. Do you see the waterfall coming off of his face? Do you see how his shirt looks like he just got out of a pool? Yeah, its because he's teething...and he's a toddler...so his hands are in his mouth A LOT. She also commented on the fact that I changed his bandage (in a very condescending way). Well that's because you told me I could after 48 hours. Whatever. I already hate you now. So after this 2 minute check and conversation she says that she'll take the stitches out next week. She's lucky to be alive. I'm not driving my happy ass back to Dallas (6 hours round trip) to get stitches removed when I can do that myself. I will take him to his PCM to have them removed and if there is a problem I will go back to Dallas.

After all that we decided to skip the museum and head back to OK. I had asked Brian to leave the door unlocked since I wasn't taking my keys...guess what Brian didn't do? That's right...leave the door unlocked. Add about 40 minutes to our trip to go get the keys. And we finally made it home to nap.

Sarah and Emaline can't wait to take an overnight trip with us again ;-)